my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
