yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
