It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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