forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
