Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
