Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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