There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
