ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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