i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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