She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
