I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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