woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
