I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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