the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
