Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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