$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
