1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize