my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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