bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
