I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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