just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
