I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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