Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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