i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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