Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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