i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
