I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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