I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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