You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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