i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
