It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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