her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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