She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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