everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
