I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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