I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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