I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
