put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
