The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
