What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
