I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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