Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

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  (650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'. http://tfl.nu/1o2s
  Replies (18) Good night (1075) Bad night (2979)
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  (408): View more from California

  Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

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  (408): Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis. http://tfl.nu/4cqk
  Replies (22) Good night (1502) Bad night (4398)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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  (804): there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule! (1-804): Wait are they playing beer pong to? http://tfl.nu/dq3n
  Replies (13) Good night (4843) Bad night (1254)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need a plan...

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.

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  (512): We need a plan... (1-512): Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan. http://tfl.nu/879h
  Replies (36) Good night (6599) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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  (516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn
  Replies (5) Good night (2442) Bad night (2004)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...

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  (502): I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine... http://tfl.nu/q9cs
  Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (2749)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  When are you comin back?

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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  (253): When are you comin back? (1-253): probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons http://tfl.nu/lgag
  Replies (3) Good night (2024) Bad night (759)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?

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  (908): Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good? http://tfl.nu/2d9n
  Replies (6) Good night (2386) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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  (864): I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day. http://tfl.nu/a8c7
  Replies (22) Good night (2973) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

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  (225): Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me? http://tfl.nu/lu4d
  Replies (13) Good night (1325) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?

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  (519): Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break? http://tfl.nu/r3b8
  Replies (15) Good night (1400) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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  (716): It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT! http://tfl.nu/5pm7
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this

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  (817): There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this http://tfl.nu/hvu0
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.

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  (847): Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/69qo
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (350)

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