Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals

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(908): You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals http://tfl.nu/anmw

Replies (13) Good night (1293) Bad night (881)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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(479): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits. http://tfl.nu/uo57

Replies (13) Good night (611) Bad night (3072)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

condoms and good judgment

(614): View more from Ohio

Can I buy both of those at the same store?

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(614): Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice? (1-614): condoms and good judgment (614): Can I buy both of those at the same store? http://tfl.nu/qy9b

Replies (0) Good night (3995) Bad night (597)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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(612): My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell. http://tfl.nu/g9t5

Replies (22) Good night (4054) Bad night (1008)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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(505): We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!" http://tfl.nu/sk68

Replies (10) Good night (4762) Bad night (1124)
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(785): View more from Kansas

So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?

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(785): So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg? http://tfl.nu/npo8

Replies (23) Good night (1095) Bad night (4724)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.

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(828): I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick. http://tfl.nu/fiht

Replies (34) Good night (6205) Bad night (1692)
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(330): View more from Ohio

we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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(330): we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it. http://tfl.nu/vxbj

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (2014)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments

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(314): I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments http://tfl.nu/h9el

Replies (7) Good night (522) Bad night (1249)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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(651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id

Replies (1) Good night (1606) Bad night (669)
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(941): View more from Florida

Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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(941): Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants. http://tfl.nu/rame

Replies (31) Good night (1266) Bad night (450)
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(913): View more from Kansas

"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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(913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka

Replies (6) Good night (1209) Bad night (426)
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(410): View more from Maryland

One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

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(410): One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes. http://tfl.nu/j23w

Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (580)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.

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(902): I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom. http://tfl.nu/lro3

Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (855)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

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(215): Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise. http://tfl.nu/k2tj

Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (397)

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