It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.