oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.