Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i don't plan on having that self control this summer

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(732): i don't plan on having that self control this summer http://tfl.nu/15c3

Replies (8) Good night (1983) Bad night (475)
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(850): View more from Florida

Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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(850): Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff http://tfl.nu/wuol

Replies (12) Good night (3562) Bad night (621)
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(314): View more from Missouri

In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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(314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6

Replies (12) Good night (1824) Bad night (3038)
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(678): View more from Georgia

part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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(678): part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic http://tfl.nu/3j2g

Replies (18) Good night (678) Bad night (3103)
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(618): View more from Illinois

apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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(618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n

Replies (16) Good night (4580) Bad night (1960)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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(864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s

Replies (13) Good night (4983) Bad night (967)
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(573): View more from Missouri

What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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(573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b

Replies (19) Good night (579) Bad night (4813)
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(518): View more from New York

I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.

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(518): I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them. http://tfl.nu/sunc

Replies (5) Good night (2427) Bad night (508)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

(480): View more from Arizona

I told you I would

(931): View more from Tennessee

I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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(931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2

Replies (7) Good night (2157) Bad night (545)
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(636): View more from Missouri

You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased

(314): View more from Missouri

Please be lying.

(636): View more from Missouri

Im not. Your family was creeped out

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(636): You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased (314): Please be lying. (636): Im not. Your family was creeped out http://tfl.nu/82lj

Replies (8) Good night (1003) Bad night (1853)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.

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(570): Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window. http://tfl.nu/lqfg

Replies (10) Good night (336) Bad night (1233)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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(864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47

Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (350)
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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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(619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j

Replies (11) Good night (390) Bad night (985)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.

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(304): I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rvlh

Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (202)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

(440): View more from Ohio

he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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(440): he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received. (440): he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick. http://tfl.nu/0dsn

Replies (10) Good night (990) Bad night (220)

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