Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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  (724): I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them http://tfl.nu/zqoq
  Replies (14) Good night (986) Bad night (3779)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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  (516): I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life. http://tfl.nu/0sjl
  Replies (21) Good night (5588) Bad night (1326)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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  (604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8
  Replies (16) Good night (4980) Bad night (1245)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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  (817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4013) Bad night (1110)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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  (301): The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football" http://tfl.nu/o0mi
  Replies (19) Good night (5298) Bad night (1068)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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  (443): I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck. http://tfl.nu/69rd
  Replies (17) Good night (8088) Bad night (2271)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

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  (410): Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"? http://tfl.nu/6yo8
  Replies (10) Good night (795) Bad night (1486)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"

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  (202): All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad" http://tfl.nu/wm4r
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (1714)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me

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  (+44): They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me http://tfl.nu/sbg9
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (486)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

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  (303): trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes http://tfl.nu/w6ny
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (509)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?

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  (732): This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with? http://tfl.nu/hn5g
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (447)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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  (515): He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real. http://tfl.nu/6hyc
  Replies (6) Good night (860) Bad night (475)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?

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  (248): Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand? http://tfl.nu/liba
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (293)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  I still maintain we were not that drunk......

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!

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  (810): Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room. (1-810): I still maintain we were not that drunk...... (810): Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down! http://tfl.nu/mzkd
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (311)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?

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  (276): Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this? http://tfl.nu/9myy
  Replies (6) Good night (1037) Bad night (262)

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