Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text

(214): View more from Texas

I know you're alive

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(216): View more from Ohio

normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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(309): View more from Illinois

so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....

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19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it

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(740): View more from Ohio

Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.

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