He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.