5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks