Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1401) Bad night (3568)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
  Replies (61) Good night (7227) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

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  (856): It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore. http://tfl.nu/4nio
  Replies (9) Good night (1545) Bad night (4577)
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  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (3045) Bad night (1020)
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  (925): View more from California

  if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars

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  (925): if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars http://tfl.nu/yl19
  Replies (16) Good night (5200) Bad night (1293)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..

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  (414): She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits.. http://tfl.nu/lntf
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.

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  (859): I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn. http://tfl.nu/8uge
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.

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  (817): It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila. http://tfl.nu/g1g0
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (590)
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
  Replies (22) Good night (4527) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

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  (775): He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can http://tfl.nu/kb09
  Replies (17) Good night (1542) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.

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  (434): He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face. http://tfl.nu/h6c3
  Replies (13) Good night (1146) Bad night (2221)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.

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  (206): I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family. http://tfl.nu/468g
  Replies (1) Good night (1458) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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  (603): Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real http://tfl.nu/3eg3
  Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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  (908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (388)

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