just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.