I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk is not a location!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
