official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
