so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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