i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
