I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
