I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize