let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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