"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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