did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
