I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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