i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
