Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
