Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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