so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
