she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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