You made me cry and you don't even care
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
