we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
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I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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