i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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