pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
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