She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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