she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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