I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
