a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
