I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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