I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
