he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
