I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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