Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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