He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
