I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
