I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
