I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize